Realizing that I haven’t written a poem for a month was my inspiration. Also that my student loans are due up later this week, and I have, as always, no way to pay them. The poem feels unfinished and definitely unpolished. The loans … well, let’s just say that they don’t accept poems as partial payments, but they do (for now) have some helpful repayment options.
A month of devotions lost —
A bill overdue, a debt in default.
He who holds my note is fixed,
But He offers many repayment options.
Make no mistake; the debt must be paid.
It is one that requires all I have, all I am,
All I become.
My all still cannot scrape together
A minimum monthly payment.
I cannot even clear the interest;
It accrues hourly, compounded daily.
I am forever in debt.
He is a lender like no other; I would have myself
Beholden to none else.
Whatever measly payment I make, He accepts —
And deposits all interest accrued in debt
Into my own account, not His,
Enabling me to pay again.
Foreclosure is not His aim;
My ruin is not His end.
In paying debt to Him,
He frees me from other mortgages;
He cuts my bonds to them.
I grow always more in debt to Him,
But freer than I could be alone,
Pretending I had no debt.
Is my debt a burden? No,
A blessing. For He treat me
Not as bondswoman, but as houseguest,
Friend, potential heir.
My debt doubles as I partake
At His invitation.
Come to tea, He says. Come sit a while with Me.
Alright, I respond with slow smile, knowing
I can only pay a tenth of this debt. I do it
By inviting Him so wholly into my life.
10 Aug 2011